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Earth Girl's Guide to Surviving an Alien Abduction

I’ve been abducted by Amish aliens, and hand to God, I’m so over it.


Don’t get me wrong. Their leader is super hot despite his likely shared ancestry with Godzilla. But he’s all about sexing me up and implanting his eggs in my you know where. And yes, I said eggs.


If that’s not bad enough, my besties have been abducted, too, but by entirely different aliens, and are on an entirely different planet. I’ve got to get out of here and pull off some heroic sh*t ASAP.


Only problem, outside of the whole “I don’t know how to fly a spaceship” thing?


I may have gotten a little carried away while playing “just the tip” with my hot alien abductor. And now…well…if I could update my social media status I’d be going from single & ready to mingle, to it’s WAY complicated.

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